tears

dear blog,

2day i feel a bit free..fre from worrying..mak da bole becakap bnyak..she can nagging as usual..but mak ttp mengeluh kesakitan..

as i told previously,my mum sick..diabetes,high blood press,fever,vomitting...ol kind of sickness she got..n recently mata die skt,juz da left eye..takleh bukak..rse mcm ditarik dipusing di terbalikkan biji mata tu..pastu trus masuk hospital after 2nd day i reached home,saturday..eb-body is working so i yg temankan mak 24hr kat hspital..at that time mak tak lrt nak becakap,dun hv appetite 2 eating even sesuap nasi..so doc msukkan 'air'-NaOH 0.9 M..4 bottles in 2 days..after 2 days doc said mak can go back becoz her diabetes is undercontrol..but da prob is mata die tak baik2 gak..so depends on specialist eye doc to treat mum..luckily mak tak kene thn wad mata..

mse kat klinik mata,me n mum hv so many obstacles to face to..mse tu aku benci sgt kat org india..doc mata yg treat mak tu org keling..muke tak senyum pun..tu takpe la,tp buat mak aku mcm org sht je nak gerak sane gerak sni..we hv 2 wait omost 1-2hr..tu pun takleh jmpe doc lg..kene masuk blik sne sni wat test mata la knonnye..da la blik smpit pastu pintu kecik..pastu kene msuk dlm 4-5 blik..mak da mcm nak tejatuh..mak pkai wheelcahir..so it's quite difficult to pull her in n out to the small room..mse tu mak very bad mood..asal i tolak wheelcahir tu laju skt mak da mrh..pusing2 skt mak mrh..wlaupun i tak langgar org mak mrh n kata i tak hati2..watever,patience is the most important thin' in dis moment..mse tu i sorang,bro n sis not coming yet..doc keling tu skt pun tak bantu..bad mood spanjang mse..mcm taknak treat mak je..nak je i call my bro anta g hospital pakar..b4 dis mak da slalu msuk hspital pakar..dis time mak tak nak msuk lg sbb mak ksian kat my bro n sis abis duit beribu-ribu..but they dun mind as long mum get full n nice treatment..tp mse tu mak kata sabo je..mngkin die pnt..i said ok even my heart didn't..pastu da cek sne sni we hv 2 wait another 1-2 hr to see doc keling puaka tu..mse i tunggu ade org keling puaka lg satu buat hal ngan i..ade ke ptt die nak lalu jln tu tp smpit sbb ade wheelchair mak..mse tu mak tenga ddk kat wheelchair tu n tenga thn kesakitan..pastu die angkat n hempas wheelcahir tu mcm tu je..my mum shocked la..kongja pnye keling..pe lg i trus bgn nak sepak kpala die..mse tu i pndang die ngan pnuh mrh..pastu mak pndang i n bg isyarat "don't"..tau plak keling puaka tu kecut..pastu die cpt bla..i hate them so muchhhhh!!! go here n there,at last jmpe doc keling tu n die ckp kene wat laser mata..we hv 2 wait again n again utk tunggu turn wat laser..skali laser 30min but at dat time so many patient there..pastu mak ckp die taknak tnggu lg..tak thn..i ckp ngn doc mak da tak thn nak tgu so we hv 2 do it next time..

lps da wat laser mata, we go back..balik je umah i take shower spuas-puasnye becoz i tak mnd dr pg smpai ke mlm at dat day..dat nite mak asik mengerang kesakitan..mak asik nangis je..mak mmg sensitif..terlalu sensitif..i'm not strong enaf tu see mum's tear..my tears come out..my bro n sis tears come out..we ol tearing..mak ckp die slalu mmpi bkn2..she saw my late father in her dreams..bile mak cite kat kitorang die akan nangis..easy 2 say,al da time mak menangis..the oldest sis pun asik dpt mmp bruk..lately mak asik ckp ngan i jgn g jauh2..jgn tnggalkan mak sorang2..slalu doakan mak..i owayz did mum..owayz..tak kire mak sht o skt..i owayz ask 2 God, pnjangkan umo mak n shtkan mak sehingga ke akhir hayat mak..

da day of 2morrow mak nak berubat kg plak..mum's eye getting worsen..mak kata skt sgt..ape yg slalu kitorang ckp..sabar mak,dugaan ni skjap je..doc kate sbb kncing mns mak infect ke mata,dats y mata mak skt..urat mata bengkak n mata mak da juling skt..we bring her to pontian 4 alternatif..n yesterday is da 2nd time mak g berubat kg..n today mak da ade slera mkn..kncing mns die undercontrol..juz her eyes..i really feel relief to see mum can eat n feeling better..but she said mata die makin takleh bukak skang ni,tp mata kiri je la..b4 dis,mata kiri mak mmg tetutup sbb skt tp bole bukak dgn sndirinye,tp td mak ngadu her eyes getting worsen,tak bole bukak..as usual mak nangis lg..b4 go to bed,i owayz think wat happen to me if mum left me..b4 i tetido i'll close my face wt pillow n nangis sepuas2nye..dats the rite time 2 me 2 relieve my 'pain'..

plz guys,i beg u ol to pray 4 my mum's health..may Allah blessing u..